Tuesday, April 24, 2012

senior year

Good afternoon, good people. I was in my favorite corner in my college's library when i wrote this
looks like another nerd finally find her freedom. hahahaha
Well, this is my senior year in my lovely campus, UPH. next June will be the most unforgettable moment for me and all my friends. Yes, GRADUATION DAY ! I can't wait for that moment to come, but I also don't want to be apart with my silly mates :(
There are so many things that we've been through these 4 years. smile. laugh. love. anger. shy. frustration. tears. happiness. madness. temptation. hugs. everything <3
They are such a kind of friends that people would ask for, and I'm so lucky to have them as my very very best friends :) I believe, we will eventually find our way back together. No matter how far the distance that will set us apart, I know one day, we will meet up again, sharing the same smile. laugh. hugs. happy tears.
Thank you God for giving me these crazy people to accompany me through my hard times and good times. They are one in a million ! Friends Forever :) xoxo

the 2nd UPHS choir concert

anas' birthday

UPH Festival "together in harmony"

metatah eny

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

a falling through

hello everyone, it's been years since my last post. I'm so busy with all of those grown up things. hahahaha. well, since love is a part of grown up things, then heartbroken is also the part of it..
well, I've been fall into a deep love with a guy i dated for 2,5 years. gusoka. that's how i usually call him. our 2,5 years journey seems so beautiful and unforgettable, i cherish every moment I've spent with him. I've ever imagine to spent my whole life with him *i wish* hahaha i know it's way too impossible because we are different ! :)
Everything seems nice those days, until he changed. yes, he is changed :) he no longer a caring and lovable person like he used to :') he even said that "yoong, I just don't love you no more" wow, can you imagine how hurt I was when I heard that?! YES, I'm heartbroken ! he said that he is boring, he give up with our relationship, and blah blah blah. I don't want to break up, I'm so in love with him. I'm trying so hard to fighting for our relationship. I do everything to makes him happy, I do everything he wants, I'm trying to become the person he wanted me to be. I do everything !
Finally, I can see it crystal clear. It's not me, it's him. I saw his photo with a girl, smile happily on Valentine's day. Perfect ! It seems so unfair ! lots of his friends support him, and blame me ! they said the problem was in me, yes ME ! people against me, and I just can do nothing to fix it, nothing ! I tried so hard to understand the situation, I broke up with him, and let him went away from me :')
Time goes by, my friends help me to wake up and stand strong ! they are working so hard to get my back, because they know I'm not easy to handle when I'm dealing with sorrow. well, now here I am. I finally realize, there's nothing I can say, nothing I can do to bring him back again :)
I know, deep down in his heart, he still care, he still have that love for me, but he just stop to shows that feeling and move on :)
Well, gusoka you may see me stand strong, but you will never know how many nights I cried to sleep, how vulnerable I am, and how much I miss you everyday, but I just try to stop showing you how much I care about you. just so you know, I still care about you, still miss you, until now, I always do :)
It doesn't matter how much I miss you, how bad I want you to be mine, I think it's still wiser for me not to have you back again :)

I hope you're happy with your new life without me yoong :) God bless you Reza Angger Kusprakoso